Happy new year. I had a beautiful stay-in-PJs kind of winter break, which was perfect in my opinion. It has been raining insanely so We have been staying at home baking a lot and cooking a lot. We are so so lucky. Here are some of the food I remember to take a picture of:
I also started crocheting a new shawl. I am beyond excited about it. Here is the link if you want to make it. It’s truly a labor of love and will take me a lonnng time but I am not in a hurry.
Now the kids are back in school I have been thinking about how I want to start the new year. I have been thinking a lot about balance. Not in the sense that I should achieve a work-life balance because I don't believe in that kind of stuff, but more in terms of what the word ‘balance’ means to me, in my life, at this current moment!
I know I have so many roles, mother, daughter, wife, sister, friend, writer, small business owner, and self-care coach to myself. These roles are always pulling and pushing themselves. A few years ago a friend recommended the book ‘Your best year yet’ which was very helpful when I read it because it helped me visualize my life in a shape of a pie. Since then I try to revisit it every year to remind myself of some of the principles of the book although I have stopped doing all the exercises.
Over the years I have realized that all my roles are equally important to me and I don’t want to let any of them go but at a given time I can give my all to only one role. This has helped me focus because I know that later on, I can focus on the other role. When I was younger I thought I should be giving my 100% to all my roles all the time. I should be the best mom, best friend, best sister, best wife, etc. it was a constant struggle and feeling of disappointment.
But this realization that my roles don’t have to be 100% in each area all the time has helped me to be able to say No, to be more protective of my heart, of my time, and to create boundaries. This has also helped me understand that I can slow down because that’s where I am and that's what is important at this moment and it’s OK. It has helped me look inside and think about what is my reality. Thinking about what is working for you and what is not. If it’s not just drop it and come back to it if that makes sense or not if it does not.
Lastly, I have been thinking and re-reading this beautiful poem by Tonya Ingram:
“you owe it to yourself to quit being the apology. to
hold your hand and sing your favorite song. to
love another and see how far that will go. to love
yourself and forget where you were headed in the
first place. love is a funny story. it wakes up and
builds a plot. it wakes up and shapes you into the
kind of woman your mother studies. i am not per-
fect in it. i am not even remotely articulate. but it
is big, this love. it is airborne and triumphant. i am
no easy show. i hurt like the climb of my lineage. i
hurt on purpose. i hurt to not be hurt. no, none of
this is an excuse. just a blueprint. a map. come
find me when the day is bronze and the sorrow is
full. i am building my poem in this here heart. all
of it is a working title.”
––Until the Stars Collapse by Tonya Ingram
Alright, my lovelies. Hope you have a wonderful Year full of love and health and happiness. See you in February.
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