Hello dear friends.
Hope you are having brighter days of spring. We have constant rain. As much as I like the rainy weather, I want to stay in sweats and never go out. I am also painting a lot of moody small paintings for some reason. Here are the last three that I love.
So some life updates:
My wholesale shop ladooladoo.com is finally up and running (Yay!!!) If you remember I have been trying to separate my art stuff from my stationery business because I am really interested in taking my stationery to the wholesale side to generate a somewhat steady income and support myself financially. I am so lucky to be able to stay at home with the kids but I would really like to build something for myself. So I bought a website in November and created an online shop. O.K! it sounds like, oh yeah, one weekend I created this website, NO way! it took me so many long hours! days and days along with many crying sessions and thoughts of giving up. Here is me trying to take a fancy picture of my note cards.
But I finally made it to the other side and my online baby is up and running… well more like crawling and learning how to walk! if we are totally honest. But one day at a time right!! It took five months to create enough cards, prints, and stickers that I feel proud to call mine, made the website, and took millions of styled photos (above is an example of the 100th photograph of my cards). But Hooray for showing up for myself! I am proud of myself for showing up day after day along with all my doubts and fears.
So in other news, Ramadan is here. I am always excited and nervous before it starts. It's like sitting on a roller coaster you don't know how the ride is gonna go even though you have done it before. The best part of Ramadan, besides feeling a sense of blessing is that it reminds you that You can't do it all! You are you and you are different from everyone else! Accept it! Do what works for your body, and your mind. In my case, I am exhausted for most of the days and for me the safest thing is to be in a low-battery mood for the rest of the 30 days. I try to empty my schedule so I can prioritize what my body needs not even to pray better but to prevent crying and exhausted outbursts that happen when I try to do a lot from my ‘I Should List’.
So I am thinking about how many things can go from my lists right now. One of them is a funny comic that I started a while ago and now I am not sure if I wanna complete it. Here is an incomplete comic. Hope it's still a bit funny.
But then my inner critic takes over and tells me I am 50 and I have nothing to show for my career. I need to hustle and paint more and do more, never take a day off because I can’t afford to! I have not done enough to earn the right to rest. And thank God for the years of therapy, reading, and listening to thousands of books on self-help I am realizing Ramadan is the best month to practice SELF COMPASSION. So this Ramadan I plan to keep thanking my inner critic for the concerns and show myself self-compassion. Instead of believing that I am behind, I want to remind myself that I am showing up for myself for things that matter to me the most, and that is what matters the most. I want to be proud of myself for making a website and learning to start a business but also for taking a nap and resting. Making a nutritious meal and taking care of my family and my body are equally important goals for me. I am also showing my kids that no one needs to take their self-worth from their productivity. We are all worthy.
Ok, friends! that’s all for March. Ramadan Mubarak to all of you who celebrate it and I will see you in April.
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